love you

love you hated words
couplets especially
heroic for stupid
sound
perfect
just fucking perfect

reentry

wet spots beneath my outside thigh, the miseducation leading to ideas of politicans as the most un-idealizable representation of our publics, yet can we say this quality is really pertinant to one's positive wealth when we idealize katie holmes; tom cruise. there is, however, the mass produced, media saavy, passion of the christ's jesus. what's his name again?

white wine has been spilt on many things. the red suade journal, vintage international's copy of carmencita, my pants ofcourse--the paper towel sopping it all up. i'll fall into the incubus for strange nostalgia's sake. vanilla creme candle burns with an exboritant wick, while the black soot feels a subtle tick on my neck. anxiety jots in the bloodline. will it all dry up never to have known it to be there or will a smell remain pungent, or, perhaps, rings. vladimir nabokov writes his afterword as if lolita had been a necessity of his language and brain development. where did the support swing from within him?

it has been one of those days that have been nagged by a deeply burrowed battle. we live in a world-- how prosaic it sounds already, dissapointed?-- where songs of such capable diverity spout out from music players by the thousands. never ceasing except when technology skits.

i find it especially important to continue reading by the literature classics but it doesn't suffice to fill up, tape up, impeccably cork up the remains. at times it unleashes the most indelible possibility. it makes the jaw gape to think of comparison and characterization. i know it may sound silly. word choice does it, too. some books will take one word and ingrain it somewhere deep into the text, easily sucked down or lost, passed through. but to the known it lingers inky and permanent. words like soporific, fey. never stringent to the milky purpose. okay some may find this [my] style excessive. strike the complexity of complexion?

there were men, more like boys, sitting in the entrance to the country of holland from the amsterdam custom's exit playing songs on their guitars as a welcome. it was the welcome to a period of pleasure devoted to time. i lost and gained many things. as with all ventures to the outerworlds, don't they all remain if their meant to? godlike seems only found in the irretracable hours of the Haze. is that why h.h. isn't so guilty? we are all victims to the sufferings of what someone at some point deemed irrevocable sin. then, their lies the forgiveness of age. the wearing down, dulling, dumbing, sucking stale the ignorance and passion, perhaps more the sheer wilingness to be stupid. not the vigor. i know, not the vigor. this is their claim. the older.

the camping trip could be epic if participation was mandatory. before the roommate leaves to costa rica. why do we all leave? why are questions asked like that more as support for our insecurities and fears?

a goal for the next days: to avoid those things from the yesterdays that make us cringe because of victimization, fear, and sin. reality will always gnaw the boxcat-mangostone.

post independence

Shame was the inital feeling felt from the fish light. Chemicals are said to lie or just be laced. Unsafe. Well I cannot see now-- now with one eye shut. Twenty four hours ago we were on a founding mission. I prefer to see it as just trying to get by. Not speeding necessarily. Forgetting the small things like the lack of the K in now. Still can't remember simple processes in trade for sluggish simplicity. Fireworks felt supremely impressive. Ten hours before that it was Venice Beach near muscles, Mary and I'd buy the baby. Cradling her scarred bubble butt. Like the color bullets in the sky, fiercly impressive.
Somewhere someone is dying to. . . My eyes cinch in dryness. Don't we think it all to be so sincere. Cracked and lacking. What about self sustainability? Where is the future in that? "We" stands for something, in America. Only ours truly bull dog. Ulysses means_________________________________.
What is this awkard joy we call love? Singing to each other is like sweetness, in many places. A self sustaining mattress isn't the correct name. Slower is summer inits ways and means. Prophetic polly dolly. Laughter brings strange sequences and anomalies. I make him tremble innerved and in fear. Doesn't it seem sad-- pathetic to not find endearing. Camp counselors cheer up! Maybe Mary and Jennifer will be cheered. My breasts ache for something simple and sincere. It can be acheived in tub tub bubbles. The seals barking deep into the night, while my tongue rolls too big to be contained. The wind chime from Scotland reminds me of the visceral wind there. Tonight there are healthy remains. Live happy when achievable and this is always possible. A hoax as it lines the page. Fills in the dots; I answer to no one but my lonesome, strong self. Scared, not so.