gaps

the scars i never wanted didn't come from grape vines, they came from stone makers.

the crazy people made them more visible, when they came out at night with little shoes, shifty structures. i was scared for their decaying clocks. descartes did not figure. with them, the processes of the mind were antithetical of mondrian's grid. no holds, no value, but conventions save them from being revealed. gaps like wells suck reality dry. i take the necessary words to the stars. dipping in dread for their freezing fate. or was it the convention of gaps enclosed in lines that saved their faces.

i revoke, divide, collide into obscurity. nonsensical, but always feeling the same thing.

rabble dabble boo dad bon o mighty.

can't you hear the screeching gap? can't you see the static between you and me is impenetrable? isn't it unlucky that we are all so originally configured? otherwise would it be like connecting strings each time, past, now, blood, future are shared, betweeen bodies no longer moaning from being alone. paradigm shifts from grandchild to grandmother make isolation innate. i want to be found and fused in grand design.

take up my apple heart. crunch loud, with conviction. blown full, without anything impending. a doubtless collaborative adventure. me and what? what did you say? shut up and go to bed. reawake with new, same dreams. stick softly to the curve. bold but unforgivingly fucked. we can't know what's already known.

"I don't need god"

She said it with a sharpness. Go away, Jews for Jesus. Was it the Morman's who asked me if I knew that God loves me? Or the Christians? My tears came bubbling up in the corners of my eyes because why? Love. Love this racing, stoned heart? Be next door, next hip, next to it.
I'm too aware of the construction. Let's go to the expectation cemetery. She doesn't need him? When the dirty grave is calling? All day long you wait. Blue and blaming the ruts and dips. I see you boys and girls up on the roof, I'm left singing. Record players make me feel more in touch, sexed. Nothing new.
Cut it out--like fat lines in a slapping, red steak, be timid against your longing, imagining until tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Now that makes me achingly angry, most especially stuck. I fell in love at 13 on a driveway seeing prickling stars. Having sex with angels is how the homosexuals with AIDS will be redeemed, Tony? It's always sex we deserve. "You're nobody till somebody loves you." What is being said? If my eyes are down focusing on the closest thing-- staring at it as if on tiny text in a newspaper--it could be you next to me. It could be that imminent. My heart starts to heartily beat. I hide behind sheaths of hair. Pin my eyes down to let the possibility stew till nearly burning. Let my chest naw at the stone of temptation. Finally enough, I look up to my expected illusion. Clog up the void.
She said, "I don't need God."

leg jot

I wanted to be felt by a sea change. For it to harness, meld me, control me. Purple sprouts sway and sprinkle with the air. You and I (no one) are made a part. Death to each season while bugs bite at spikes. Relentlessly {illegible} something {illegible}.